I have finally had five minutes to myself to get down my story. I seem to have been given the name Audrey, which to be honest sounds rather like and old woman’s name to me. My friends who came with me when we escaped from that clucking farm, Jean, Jess, Mabel, Eileen and Marge are all here too. We have been stuck inside this jail for eight days now as Marge caught a clucking chest infection and we have to be kept inside. I would much rather be out exploring, digging in the poo and finding myself some insects.
The day we escaped we hatched a master plan that meant we had to pretend to be dead for a while, and when the scary man came and picked us up, he went and put us in a box. I’m sure he didn’t know we were alive, we were perfectly silent. Some people collected us, and when they opened the box, we all moved around slowly together, so we didn’t scare them too much, because obviously they expected dead chickens and then gradually, as they got used to us we began to move around more and more. I think the plan worked, we are all used to each other now.
This new place is clucking great, we have free rein to go wherever we want to, and some of the girls have even found escape tunnels so we can get out for little trips without the people knowing. If they catch us they come running after us and grab us, but most of the time they are gentle, not like at the old place where that horrible man used to grab us by the legs and carry us upside down like we were some sort of clucking handbag.
The only thing here I don’t really understand is I don’t seem to be able to have babies. I keep trying, I lay my eggs and I sit down in front of the giant cockerel, but every day the eggs are gone and there are no babies. Anyway there are always clucking cats hanging around that I’m sure would eat me and the girls if they were brave enough. If they come anywhere near us we have devised a plan that means we squawk loudly and run around for a few seconds like a lunatic. Normally this scares of the cats, but sometimes it freaks out those ugly things with long necks and they try and jump on us. Never got us yet though, we’re much too quick for them 😉
I really enjoy going to sleep here on my luxury bed, it seems to be made from a kind of animal skin, maybe the ugly ones, I don’t know, but it’s much better than the metal boxes we were born in.
I supposed I had better wrap it up here for today, the people are coming with our food and medicine, hopefully it won’t be too much longer, although we can’t understand what they are saying, they speak in some kind of foreign language, it’s definitely not Spanish, and we are of course, Spanish chickens!!