It is that time of year again. I said goodbye to Pedro, the last one left from last years babies a few weeks ago, as Xavi, my eldest took him on a little walk, and told him he needed to find a new home. Xavi came back a few days later. Now, I have a new admirer, a gorgeous tabby boy, who has come to challenge Xavi for my affections and become Daddy to this years babies. After a day of fighting, they have both vanished today, so who knows what is happening, maybe tomorrow I will find out who is to be the daddy this year. I have done my best to impress the new boy, rolling on the floor, mewing and then running away, and he chases me, and then Xavi pops up and stares at him, growling. After a while they run, scream and fight for few seconds then it all starts again.
In a few weeks I will have to find a secret place to have my babies, away from those wretched dogs, and now the blasted chickens, maybe the barn, maybe the stable who knows, last year I made a nest and had them in some leaves!! At least when the babies come, the people here tend to feed us more often, every day even and help me with the babies. Here is me with the babies from last year 🙂
Oh My God! You would not believe the weather we have had for the last two weeks. We have been ankle deep in mud, and all our food has got wet, and we even look like Suri’s, this has not been good. My hair is in a right mess! We spent days watching the rising river, as it washed away much debris and even a car from the road, but of course, we couldn’t help, we are just alpacas, after all 😉
Here is a photo of me in the rain.
Thankfully for the last two days the sun has been shining once again, so we can get our hair dry and have a mooch about. When it’s raining, we don’t tend to move very far, just stand there looking particularly sad.
Santa has been a little bugger recently, he keeps trying to fight with the big boys, but he always gets angry if they hurt him and screams in their faces. I try to stay out of the way, but sometimes, I get caught up in the mood, and I try a few sneaky little nips, but don’t really get involved. It’s all too much for me, I leave them to it.
Wake up. Run around in circle three times. Howl loudly. Get let out before eating anything I shouldn’t. Run around in circle three times. Check the perimeter of the courtyard just in case anything has changed overnight, and make sure the frogs are still there. Listen for the big dogs being taken out. Howl. Bark excitedly until they get back. Now it’s our turn. Run around like a lunatic, three more circles, pick up Geri’s lead, more circles, jump at the people. Stand rigidly still and stare at funny shaped animals. Then run off at speed and nearly strangle myself on lead. Walk. Eat olives and acorns off floor. Come back. Stare at strange animals again. They’re still there. Come in and jump in water, jump on people. Eat some poo while waiting for breakfast. Annoy Geri. Bark at alpacas. Dinner time. Run around in big circles and jump on Geri’s head. Eat dinner. Get angry with food because I can’t open my mouth very far. Run into toilet to collect some tissue to eat half way through dinner. Get let out.Check perimeter again, just in case. Check frogs. Have a little sleep. What’s that? Check perimeter again. Check frogs. Bark at alpacas. Go back to sleep, siesta time. Wake up. Pull washing off line. Run around dragging in mud. Eat some poo. Bark at alpacas. Dry hump Geri. Fight Arthur. Run around in circles. Jump on people. Wait for dinner. Dinner time. Run in more circles. Run in apartment. Run out of apartment. Eat dinner. Go out. Check perimeter. Hassle Geri. Go in for the night. Run in bedroom pick up sock. Get sock taken off me. Jump on sofa. Jump off sofa. Go in bathroom and collect tissue to eat. Get tissue taken off me. Jump on sofa. Jump off sofa. Go to kitchen have a drink. Jump on sofa. Someone comes in room. Jump off sofa. Get told off. Jump back on sofa. Dry hump Geri. Jump off sofa. Get told off. Jump back on sofa. Go to sleep.
Oh dear I am suffering today. Yesterday, the boys and I were having a bit of a go at the alpacas, because they were there, and they were getting attention from some people staying in the house. All of a sudden little ‘Shitface’ pushed me off of the top of the wall. I fell a long way and landed on my tail. The strange looking animals came running over to me, and I was scared in case they wanted to hurt me. The big person picked me up and took me into the house and made sure I was ok, but today I feel as though someone has beaten me up. When they took me for a walk this morning, I could not wag my tail and it hurt to move it out of the way to have a poo.
I’m trying to keep out of the way of Shitface and the big boy because I don’t want to get hurt again, so I have been hiding in the ‘dog room’ with Geri, hoping she will look after me. It feels a little better since the big person put something in my mouth and held it shut for a while, he kept rubbing my throat until it made me swallow and then he let me go.
Hopefully, soon I will feel back to my normal self and be able to wag my tail like normal. To top it all off the loud bangs have started again, and that makes me very scared and reminds of when I ran away from the horrible men because I didn’t like all the noise.
Aaaaarrrrgghhhh, I get so angry and I don’t know why. The other boys are annoying me and I just want to fight all the time. I chase the grey one, but then his friend gets all tough with me and ends up chasing me around the field and I scream and scream at him until all the boys are fighting with each, other, then one of the people comes out and normally throws water at us and we stop. When this happens normally my lips feel funny and to make them better I have to rub my face in the hay until I sneeze then its feels normal again.
All I really want to do is see some girls, I’m getting older now and it would be great to have a day out with some girls. I think I would make a good Dad.
Thankfully a few days ago, we had some water come from the sky, so there is a little bit of green stuff starting to appear over the fence which we can see, hopefully one day the people will let us on there to eat it. Sometimes they come and put something on my face, and try to pull me in all different directions, but I don’t like it, they just end up pushing me along. Maybe one day I will do it for them.
A while ago we had our hair cut for the summer, and when it is really hot I like to go for swim by sitting in our water bowl, then rolling in the mud, this helps to cool me down, but thankfully the temperature has gone down now, so we can relax a bit more and run around a bit.
Oops better go, looks like the people are here with some food. Laters.
I’m a little bit sad still. There were 3 of us when I first opened my eyes. We could n’t see anything apart from leaves and a brightness in the sky. When we were able to walk about on our own my silver grey brother disappeared one day. I think the nice people that kept cuddling us may have taken him… sniff! There were just 2 of us little kittens left, and we did everything together. Snuggled up on the chairs, and jumped on top of each other in the morning and night, when it was cooler. One day she went away too. I could see her over the fence, but she was n’t moving. It was either the big noisy machine that moves fast on the track or the giant bird in the sky that dropped her. I don’t know which. The man took her away and I never ever saw her again … sniff.
My big brother Xavi has been looking after me and lets me cuddle up to him, and rub my face on him. I love my Mummy very much but she wants me to be all grown up and be independent and not even drink from her anymore… sniff.
When my sister was here lots of people gave us lovely food, now we only get dry biscuits from the lady, but at least she feeds us. I’m growing big now, and soon I’ll be as big as my two brothers and I’ll be able to look after Mummy. Already I’m being very brave and stand staring at the giant animals that shout loudly at us, and I eat the funny tall animals food too.
Hopefully I can stay here forever, I love it here!!
I have finally had five minutes to myself to get down my story. I seem to have been given the name Audrey, which to be honest sounds rather like and old woman’s name to me. My friends who came with me when we escaped from that clucking farm, Jean, Jess, Mabel, Eileen and Marge are all here too. We have been stuck inside this jail for eight days now as Marge caught a clucking chest infection and we have to be kept inside. I would much rather be out exploring, digging in the poo and finding myself some insects.
The day we escaped we hatched a master plan that meant we had to pretend to be dead for a while, and when the scary man came and picked us up, he went and put us in a box. I’m sure he didn’t know we were alive, we were perfectly silent. Some people collected us, and when they opened the box, we all moved around slowly together, so we didn’t scare them too much, because obviously they expected dead chickens and then gradually, as they got used to us we began to move around more and more. I think the plan worked, we are all used to each other now.
This new place is clucking great, we have free rein to go wherever we want to, and some of the girls have even found escape tunnels so we can get out for little trips without the people knowing. If they catch us they come running after us and grab us, but most of the time they are gentle, not like at the old place where that horrible man used to grab us by the legs and carry us upside down like we were some sort of clucking handbag.
The only thing here I don’t really understand is I don’t seem to be able to have babies. I keep trying, I lay my eggs and I sit down in front of the giant cockerel, but every day the eggs are gone and there are no babies. Anyway there are always clucking cats hanging around that I’m sure would eat me and the girls if they were brave enough. If they come anywhere near us we have devised a plan that means we squawk loudly and run around for a few seconds like a lunatic. Normally this scares of the cats, but sometimes it freaks out those ugly things with long necks and they try and jump on us. Never got us yet though, we’re much too quick for them 😉
I really enjoy going to sleep here on my luxury bed, it seems to be made from a kind of animal skin, maybe the ugly ones, I don’t know, but it’s much better than the metal boxes we were born in.
I supposed I had better wrap it up here for today, the people are coming with our food and medicine, hopefully it won’t be too much longer, although we can’t understand what they are saying, they speak in some kind of foreign language, it’s definitely not Spanish, and we are of course, Spanish chickens!!